A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Yankees fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans.Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Yankees fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Red Sox fan, and proud of it," Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why pray tell are you a Red Sox fan?"
"Because my mom is a Red Sox fan, and my dad is Red Sox fan, so I'm a Red Sox fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Red Sox fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were a moron and your dad were a moron,
what would you be then?"
"Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a Yankees fan."
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Four baseball fans, each from a major league city, are climbing a mountain.
On the way to the top, each is arguing about how loyal they are to their team and what they would do for their team.
As the climb progresses, the odds increase. Upon reaching the top, the Mets fan shouts, "This is for the Mets," and hurls himself off the top.
Next the Brave fan yells, "I love Atlanta, this is for the Braves," and hurls himself off the mountain.
Suddenly the Red Sox fan yells "This is for everyone," and pushes the Yankees fan off .
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Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The man answers, "241."
"That is wonderful!" says Albert. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Next, Albert introduces himself to a woman and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The lady answers, "144."
"That is great!", says Albert, "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!".
Albert then goes to another person and asks, "What is your IQ?"
The person answers, "51."
Albert ponders this for a moment, and then smiles and says,
"GO YANKEES"!!
A Red Sox fan, a Cub fan, and a Yankee fan were all in Saudi Arabia performing military duty for the US Army.
While off base, they were caught sharing a smuggled case of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, but by a stroke of luck, a benevolent Sheik decided that they could be released after receiving 20 lashes of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each one of you one wish before your whipping".
The Cub fan, having drunk the least, was first in line, so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted ten lashes before the whip went through. The Cub fan was carried away bleeding and crying.
The Yankee fan was up next (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said, "All right, please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Yankee fan crying like a baby.
The Red Sox fan was the last up (he had finished off the crate- given his allegiance, who could blame him), but before he could say anything, the Sheik, seeing the Red Sox cap on his head, turned to him and said "My friend, you support the greatest baseball team in the world, with fans who are everywhere renowned for their intelligence and loyalty. For this you may have two wishes."
"Thank you, your most royal highness," the Red Sox fan replied. "Owing to the gravity of my offense, I feel that 20 lashes is not a severe enough punishment, so my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes".
"Not only are you an honorable, powerful man, you are also very brave," said the Sheik. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?"
The Red Sox fan replied, "Tie the Yankee fan to my back."
